Kripalu and Amrit Desai

The "Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health" was founded as simply "Kripalu," by Yogi Amrit Desai. The ashram was named for Yogi Desai's guru, Swami Kripalvananda. At that time, the disciples called Yogi Desai "Gurudev," and Swami Kripalvananda, "Bapuji."

I first visited the ashram in the mid 1980's. I was completely stressed out with my high tech job, and saw an article about this place with mountains, yoga, and vegetarian food. Sounded like heaven to me. I signed up for a week long class... I don't remember the name, but in general, the class was "fitness and bonding with a group of women." And to get the feel of the place, I signed up for a "Welcome Weekend" a few weeks prior to the class.

Kripalu was built as a Jesuit seminary -- it's a large, blockish building, not particularly attractive -- but located on a hill overlooking a lake. Lovely location, not-so-lovely building.

That first weekend, I found that I liked many things about the ashram - the food, the yoga, the peaceful atmosphere, the lovely surroundings. I was uncomfortable with the enormous attention paid to the guru - virtually every room, every hallway, had a picture of Gurudev, and many also had a picture of Babuji -- and much time was spent bowing to those pictures.... foreheads on the floor. I had never seen anyone "pranam" before - the prayerful bow with forehead on the floor. It was all very strange to me. This was all very strange for me.

The last day of my "Welcome Weekend," Gurudev visited our class. He performed what they called a posture flow -- some years earlier, while Gurudev was still an art student, he practiced hatha yoga. One night that yoga practice spontaneously evolved into a "meditation in motion," where one pose just flowed into the next. I watched the posture flow, and was drawn into that meditation with him -- the room was incredibly still.

I enjoyed my class a few weeks later, and began visiting the ashram regularly for their Rest and Relaxation program. Over time, I also began reading a bit about Hinduism -- I had read "Be Here Now" in the far distant past, and now re-read it -- and also found many other books on Hinduism and Hindu practice. About a year later, I was at the ashram one weekend when Gurudev showed up to give the dharma talk on Saturday night. I had never seen him in person -- and was really attracted by what he had to say. (And bowing to the guru was not seeming so strange to me anymore!)

Some six months after that, Gurudev was leading a weekend workshop in Chicago, and I signed up. I would never have that kind of exposure to him at the ashram in Lenox -- so I just took myself to where he was going to be. The facility for the weekend retreat was pretty bad -- very very run down. The shag rugs were not clean. The food was *terrible.* But I enjoyed his talks, and that was ok. And at one point that weekend, he began a session with a meditation. I closed my eyes and followed his voice - and one minute I was sitting on a dirty shag rug in Chicago, and the next minute I was in the very presence of God. It was a completely transformative moment for me.

The following spring, in a lovely ceremony, I was received as a disciple at Kripalu. 

Years later, Amrit Desai left Kripalu in disgrace... after financial and sexual malfeasance, exacerbated by lies and ugly attempts to cover up his misdeeds.  The devotees who saw him as the next-thing-to-God were devastated.

I am grateful that I never confused the finger pointing at the moon with the moon, and never confused the stained glass with the light shining through it... because (although I certainly concede that this took a whole lot of prayer and deep thought), I am able to remain grateful for Gurudev's gift of shaktipat, and to see the wholly beautiful impact of that shaktipat on my entire life.   

I am going back to India!

I leave on February 11 for three weeks.... several travel days on either end bracketing a two-week stay at an ashram on Omkareshwar.  I've started packing.. or more accurately, I've started thinking about packing and have begun to pile stuff up near suitcases.  I have my reservations, hotel, flight from Mumbai to Indore, shots, and as of this week, visa.

I am not taking a computer with me.  We hear rumors of an Internet cafe about ten minutes away from the ashram... if I have access to a computer and wireless, I will blog here about the trip.

Beyond excited.  WAY beyond excited.